21 things you only know if you bake your own bread

By Ella Walker . Published 2020-07-30
BOLD-Food
Grab a plate, a slice of homemade bread and a pat of butter – we’re with you.

If you’re one of the valiant few who get up at dawn to rustle up your own sun-dried tomato focaccia and sesame seed bagels, you should be able to relate to these 21 points…

  1. Your friends may have pets and kids, but you have your sourdough starter and it needs you. Only people into fermenting their own sauerkraut seem to understand.

  2. There is no pizza better than the kind whose dough you made with your bare hands – even if you haven’t quite got the knack of doing the pizzeria dough spin yet.

  3. You feel incredibly proud when a friend comes to you to ask for a bit of your (much-loved) sourdough starter to get them going, but also kind of sad at letting your baby out into the world.

  4. These muscles come from kneading, not bench-pressing.

  5. Baking cakes might be a kind of science, but baking bread? That’s an art form.

  6. There is a silent war between those who use breadmakers, and those who bake bread by hand – pick a side, and stick with it.

  7. Never are you more smug than when people drop by for brunch and you can pull a fresh baked loaf out of the oven.

  8. The bottom draw of the freezer is forever filled with the odd ends of loaves for emergency hunger pangs – all they need is a toaster and a pile of scrambled eggs.

  9. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, and no matter how expert you become, no baguette you make ever compares to a baguette bought from an actual French bakery in France. It must be a butter thing.

  10. Paul Hollywood is your culinary hero, and no, you’re not ashamed.

  11. It’s all in the proof, it really is.

  12. Every time you see a loaf of bread, you can’t help but want to turn it over and inspect the crustiness of its base.

  13. All you really need in life is a hunk of bread and a similar sized hunk of butter.

  14. Who needs a holy trinity when you have flour, salt, water and yeast?

  15. A fair amount of your time is spent either laying on the floor by the oven, checking your rise, or searching for the perfect ratio of air holes to loaf size.

  16. A soft crust is a crushing disappointment.

  17. Your idea of a great night in involves different kinds of rye flour and a whole lot of fancy seeds.

  18. The word ‘pumpernickel’ brings you a lot of joy.

  19. Plain white supermarket bread trapped in their suffocating plastic packaging makes you so sad, you have to rush past the bread aisle when you do your weekly shop.

  20. People who leave their crusts are not welcome in your home.

  21. The only thing better than homemade bread? Homemade bread IN homemade bread and butter pudding.

Oh, and there’s no argument, homemade really does taste better…